book review: 'the defining decade'

i recently finished the defining decade: why your twenties matter and how to make the most of them now by meg jay and let me tell you - this was a good read. i’m a sucker for the types of books that fall under categories like psychology and self-help. honestly, they’re my favorite types of books to read so it’s no surprise that this book did not disappoint.

the defining decade is a book about being in your twenties and why they really do matter. many people live through this decade with a construed idea of what it actually means to be in your twenties but in this book, meg jay combines science + real life experiences to share the reasons why your twenties are so important. she talks about how work, relationships, personality, social networks and our brain can change more during these 10 years than any other time in adulthood. this book is filled with stories from meg jay’s actual clients - people in their twenties who are afraid and confused and people in their thirties who are struggling filled with regret.

a reoccurring theme in this book: people in their mid-thirties going to therapy to talk about how they feel like they wasted their twenties but now they are ready to settle down and have a family - only they don’t have any serious relationship experience or any stability in their life. oftentimes, twentysomethings have the idea that these ten years are the last years they will have to do whatever they want to do. they spend those ten years partying, serial dating and not taking their future seriously. and then when they get to their thirties - they have no idea how to be an adult, how to be in a relationship or how to make a career for themselves.

i feel like i underlined and highlighted almost this entire book. from chapters about work to passages about relationships, it felt like this book was written for me. the defining decade reassured me that it’s okay to use your network to get ahead in your career and to have big dreams and goals at a young age. it taught me that it’s okay to take your relationships seriously in your twenties and that sometimes it’s not all about having fun before marriage. it also helped me identify what my timeline is - what i want my life to look like + how to get to that point.

as a twenty three year old, this book really resonated with me. at first, it sounded like it is going to be a giant cliche but it honestly really got me thinking about my future and how to make the most of my twenties. i truly think this is a book that everyone in their twenties should read.

interested in buying the book? order it here on amazon and make sure to let me know what you think!