ways to make yourself feel better after a breakup

i wish i wasn’t typing this blog right now but maybe if i write about it, i’ll feel better.

i know it’s okay to take time to be upset/grieve after a breakup but i’m tired of being sad. that’s why i’m writing this. i’m starting to realize there are a lot of things to do to make yourself feel better after suddenly losing someone.

right now the best thing for me is surrounding myself with people. it took me awhile to want to spend time with my friends; i wanted to lay in bed alone all day. the more i’m around people, the more i forget about what happened. my friends have been my backbone lately. they motivate me to do things like go to the gym or the library. it’s important to stay busy. everyone says that time heals all and time definitely goes by a lot faster when you’re not sitting alone in your bedroom. for awhile i thought i would feel better if i skipped class because then i wouldn’t have to act like i was okay in front of people i barely knew. what i’ve come to realize is that even if you are just pretending, you’ll eventually believe that you are okay.

with that being said, sometimes it feels good to just break down. it’s okay to be upset and to let it out - it’s not okay to ignore your emotions. when you are upset, it’s better to talk to someone about it than deal with it alone. it’s hard for me to not feel like a burden to people; i don’t like to bother them with my negativity. however, this is something that no one should have to go through alone.

it feels good to focus on yourself. there are a bunch of ways to do this. at the risk of sounding nerdy, i like to read self-help books or dive into my school work. it’s important to do things that feel rewarding, even if they are small things. something as simple as making a to-do list and crossing each task off at the end of the day makes me feel better. if i work on my homework instead of laying in bed, i feel more accomplished and motivated. it’s tough to find the drive at the beginning of the day but once you get started, it’s not so hard to keep going. not in school? don’t worry, there are a lot of other things you can do that feel rewarding. a dangerous but nice thing can be to treat yourself sometimes. last week i ordered some new leggings and cozy socks online just because i knew it would make me feel better to get all bundled up in my new, soft clothes. i’m not saying to go out and blow all your money, but little things here and there can go a long way. this is a time in your life to be selfish. you no longer have to worry about someone else; you can finally put all your energy into your happiness without anyone getting in the way of that.

getting over a breakup can be easier if you have something to look forward to. of course i have a lot to look forward to, i’m only 21. but that’s not really what i mean. plan something that is concrete like a concert or ski trip with your friends. my friends and i are planning on going to new york city once we finish finals and that is definitely motivating me to power through the rest of the semester. having something to be excited about feels good. it doesn’t have to be some big thing, even a movie night with your girlfriends can do the trick. anything is better than sitting in your room alone.

a change in routine can be a really good thing, also. i wasn’t really going to the gym before my breakup but i’ve been trying to go with my friends recently. it makes me feel more self confident and motivated to get up and be active at the start of my day. even little things like a change in diet can help your mindset. i have been trying to meditate and read more because those are things that calm me down. everyone is different, it’s really important to find what makes you feel relaxed. this is a good time to try new things and meet new people. obviously i have cup of t. that i can focus on now, which has been so great for me. it feels good to know that people are able to relate to me and care about what i have to say.

it’s okay to ask for reassurance. when you’re upset, it’s easy to feel down on yourself. i’m really hard on myself but my friends are always there to remind me of my best qualities. i rarely believe them in the moment, but after awhile it feels nice to know that people recognize how hard you try to be a good person. self-confidence is really important during this time and it might seem pathetic, but it’s okay to do things that boost your ego. it’s better to talk to someone about how you’re feeling than to just beat yourself up over assuming what people think of you. it also doesn’t really matter what people think. like i said, this is a time to be selfish. but if you are struggling with a purpose, talk to your friends. they will remind you why they’re your friend in the first place and that can feel good.

i hope this list helps you or someone you know realize that there are a lot of things you can do to feel better.