i know what you’re thinking. it’s a month into 2021, it’s time to let go of 2020. but the truth is, i don’t think any of us will ever be able to let 2020 go. for most, 2020 was a year of fear, depression, frustration and loneliness, but it was also a year of appreciation, love, reflection and growth.

for me, 2020 was the year that i left a toxic job, fell in love with my best friend, and started learning more about myself. at the start of the year, i was traveling to different states and even countries for work, going out with my friends and even putting myself out there in the online dating world. i was so go go go every single day that i never really had time to stop to actually check in on myself. that all changed by the time march came around. i don’t need to rehash the details of the early pandemic days, we’ve all been there done that. but march is when it all started to change.

i was reminded the importance of family. at the end of the day, your family is all you really have. i mean, there’s no better way to be reminded of that than being stuck in the house for months with your family during the pandemic (lol). it was an excuse for everyone to slow down, actually spend time with their family and just be present. this meant family game nights (which i don’t think i’ve had since i was 10), group workouts, movie marathons, and everyone finally being home at the same time for dinner. everyone runs on different schedules with different routines, and it’s not often that everyone’s home at the same time to just spend time together. of course before the pandemic we had ‘family fun days’ or would have plans we would all be involved in but i’m talking about the day-to-day stuff. being home with my family reminded me that these are people who are always going to be there, and that it’s a great feeling to know that you are unconditionally loved.

i learned what work life balance meant. the last day that i sat in an office and worked at my desk the entire day was friday, march 13th (which is ironic to say the least). i left the office on friday thinking i would be back monday morning, but then an email on sunday night came through saying that no one would be working in the office full time until further notice. then began the WFH journey which is an entire different blog post to be written. but anyways, here is where i started to learn the importance of work life balance. because for weeks, there was no balance. there was no excuse to not be working, because there was nothing else to be doing and no reason to leave the house. after weeks of absolutely no balance, i started doing things for myself throughout the day like a quick yoga class, journaling, walking outside or even just facetiming a friend. something that made me feel overwhelmed and alone at first, started to make me feel thankful that i had time in my day to take a break from my desk and do something that made me happy.

i learned what it meant to fall in love with someone, and what it meant to be with someone who truly loves you back. i guess it’s true what they say - good things come to those who wait. because boy did i have my fair share of heartbreaks before austin came around. during a time when it felt like there wasn’t too much to be happy about, austin came into my life and made me feel whole again. when he picked me up for our first date, there was nothing open and nothing to do. i mean, even the beach was closed that’s how deep into quarantine we were. normally first dates are over drinks, dinner, maybe even a movie. but on our first date, he picked me up and we drove around all night. and that’s when i learned that it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, all that matters is who you do it with.

i learned how to be okay with being alone, something that was nearly impossible for me before last year. as an extrovert, i’ve never been great at being alone. if i was alone, that meant that all i had were the thoughts in my head. but during 2020, i learned how to be okay with being alone with my thoughts. i learned how to make myself feel better when i was feeling anxious and i learned how being alone can actually be beneficial, and even necessary sometimes. and i learned the importance of checking in on your friends, because i knew how much it meant to me when someone asked me how i was doing.

all in all, i learned how many things i took for granted that i never knew i would miss, and to truly appreciate it all - the good, bad and the ugly. there were a couple other little things i learned too, like how to make a bunch different types of cocktails (thanks mom), how to use photoshop (shoutout to jules), how to file taxes (don’t ask me tho), and so much more. and even though it was a tough, depressing year, i have to think it was also one of the best years of my life in terms of personal growth and pure happiness.

and to end this blog on a high note, here’s a little photo dump of my favorite memories.

when every other weekend was a lake weekend

when outdoor dining was finally available

when the fam would get together for some socially distanced fun

when the airport was so busy you would run into your family there

when i went to europe for the first time

when cole graduated high school (even if there was no one but us there to witness it)

what i learned in 2020